Iâ€™m going to tell you the secret of happiness, and the answer to all those myriad questions about how to be happy in life, what is happiness, where you can find happiness, what will make you happy, why you arenâ€™t happy, what you need to be happy, etc etc.
And Iâ€™m going to tell it you right here, right now….
The real truth of life in this world is: (drum roll……)
When youâ€™re happy, youâ€™re happy, and when youâ€™re not, youâ€™re not.
My friend, do you really get this?
I am most certainly not being facetious, or funny, or laughing in any way. I am being most serious.
To be quite honest, there is nothing more to say, because that statement above says it all. That statement can enlighten you on the very spot youâ€™re sitting or standing.
But as human beings we are not easily able to accept this simple truth, rather, we fight to try to make life always happy. We make some things all so wrong or so serious, especially when life turns out different to how we think it should. We resist pain, and seek pleasure. Habitually. Constantly. And unconsciously.
The above is perhaps the one truth that leads to instantaneous transformation â€“ for my clients and certainly for me when I got this a while back. In fact it is a truth, which if you can accept its wisdom, will make you an emotional master. More than that, it can also lead to full-on awakening, because Truth is what is revealed when the meaning of those words is realized.
And that meaning is that if itâ€™s actually ok that you experience pain, then where is the personal suffering in this? In other words, it is ok to feel pain. In other words, life is not always happy. In other words, to make such statements as â€˜I am happyâ€™ are not really truthful. In other words, life is never one thing, it is a mix of emotions, feelings, thoughts, and â€“ most importantly â€“ thatâ€™s fine.
What I have found is that if we are willing to accept ALL of us â€“ dark and light both â€“ then wisdom and joy arise in bucketfuls. Bliss arises. Bliss I would describe as a joy in this very moment, without any motive whatsoever, or need, itâ€™s simply a beingness, an existence in this moment right now. It is actual experience, not thought. It is something that is not affected by the vagaries of life, it is ever there, even in the darkness. It is direct knowledge of Truth.
Donâ€™t misunderstand however, acceptance of oneself fully and unconditionally also means that pain is felt even more excruciatingly at times. But the good news is that even then itâ€™s ok, because pain is not personal…
Can you relate to this?
Getting back to the above statement, ok, the thing is that human beings resist â€“ or even worse, deny – their inner pain because fundamentally, they take it personally. But this is what is truer: we are in fact simply choosing to experience what it feels like to have pain (substitute this with any other adjective to describe an emotion), but WE are not in pain.
If you can see this subtle difference, if you can learn to face your pain, embrace it, love it and forgive it, then you will never need a counsellor, never need to read a book again to help you on your personal path of transformation, never need to find answers, never be in conflict, never be confused, because you will have learnt the art that is the most difficult for a human being: the art of emotional mastery. I spoke to someone the other day who was in turmoil over the loss of her boyfriend, and she was finally able to simply allow herself to feel the pain of loss. This itself freed her up. Why? Because genuine feelings felt is freedom and soon those feelings pass. You know, we just need to give ourselves permission to feel what we feel….
You see, emotional mastery is not the absence of emotions, but to the contrary, it is the allowing of emotion. This is what most of us have become adept at avoiding over the years, and this is the inner journey that we are, at some point or other, called upon to enter.
If you feel that calling now (ie feel greatly inwardly challenged) then count your blessings, and keep on going.
You are learning the art of loving yourself unconditionally.
As one visitor to my site emailed me â€“ Imperfection means I M Perfection.
Bulls eye! Life indeed is perfect as it is. Not as we dream it to be. Dreams are great, but they are painful if not based on the foundation of emotional acceptance.
I leave you with a popular Zen proverb:
â€œBefore enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.â€