letting self-consciousness fall away

Oh man, people just don’t get it, do they. If you want to really enjoy life you have to let the sense of a ‘me’ go. Why is that so hard to get? Well, no doubt because we do not have the wherewithall to see that the ‘person’ we think we are is just an idea of ourself – of our ‘self.’ A ‘self’ that only exists in our thoughts about who we are. And I can assure you – the ‘you’ that you think you are is NOT how others think of you. They think of you through their own me-story and no two perceptions are identical.
This is the irony. If you REALLY want to get off on life, you have to let your idea of a wonderful ‘me’ go. But most people are too entrenched in their own story to even notice it’s there. They are it, they live it, they breathe it, and not for one moment do they even realize it’s fictional.
Then some trauma occurs. Thank goodness for traumas!! Without some kick up the backside we remain asleep. Or some may be ‘lucky’ and simply have an awakening occur whilst up a ladder at work (I heard about one such happening), or some sponataneous occurrence, but even then, it seems that buried traumatic energies must arise for the falling away of identity to become the commonplace expression of who/what one is. Energy cannot simply be whisked away by a thought. Energy is what is real at the end of the day. It is that which arises, whatever flavour it may be.
The thing is that life CAN be all the things we so desire. It can be exciting, fun, and/or peaceful and fulfilling. But until and unless we get out of the way of demanding life to be a certain way, it simply won’t be those things. It will be the wanting, the desires, the lack of fulfillment. And then one day, if there is sensitivity to the arising energy in life, we may get that there is something else to the truth about life, other than our thoughts, other than our opinions and insecurities. That there is something that never goes anywhere, but that always arises in a myriad different manifestations – but, the point is, it’s all the same stuff! It’s no different if we are mad, sad, bad or have a fad. (As you know, I like to play with words) It’s all just energy!
Some years ago, before this energy stuff started to make sense to me, I had no idea what energy was. I used to think that people who talked of energy were far out and off their trollies. Now, I guess I’m well and truly off my trolley, but I wouldn’t want to be any place else LOL. Off one’s trolley is definitely a good place to be 🙂
People seek so hard to get what they think they want in life whether it’s pleasure or pain (yep, even pain!), or wealth, or acclaim or whatever it is that they think will rock their boat. But better than achieveing all those things is the letting go of that identity that seeks it in the first place. Then one is free as a bird. One is free of self-consciousness. And being free of self-consiousness is a lot of fun and the gift is that one can play at being your ‘me’ with full-on gusto! You can get the acclaim and the wealth and truly enjoy it without restraint. How ironic is that! It is the hidden secret of life that is in plain view! It is self-consciousness that painfully seeks acclaim in whatever way. And self-consciousness is such effort! It also has a cringe factor – you know, kind of like ouch, go away! It’s no fun. No real fun. Acclaim built upon a need of the identity is like mud icing on a delicious cake.
All you need to do is to be willing to scrape off the mud so that you can fully enjoy the delicious cake. I mean, cup cakes with mud icing don’t exactly taste too good, right? But the one we had for my son’s birthday tonight was very delicious – I had made sure that the icing was truly butter icing and not mud lol. (But in truth YOU/WE cannot really do anything, all we can really ‘do’ is to be open to getting a sense of our attachment to an identity, and allow this to fall away, and even that is not an action of the ‘I’…)
Thanks for reading.
Hope you’re enjoying your cup cake.
Love,
Reena
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Reena Gagneja
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